Walking with Trauma

Has escuchado a alguien decir, “Por favor no me toques, tengo trauma.”  Todos nosotros tenemos eventos trágicos en nuestras vidas. ¿A qué se refiere?  ¿Cuál es su significado? ¿Por qué crees que es importante para la persona que comprendas que tiene trauma?

            Para comprender, el primer paso que debemos tomar es definir qué es trauma.  Trauma es una experiencia o evento abrumador, poderoso e intenso [1]. El evento o experiencia es repentina e inesperada [2]. Básicamente, es algo impresionante que deja una huella profunda en la vida de un individuo.  La respuesta a este evento afectará la habilidad de afrontar la vida, y la persona se sentirá incapaz de vivir diariamente [3].  Disipará su sentido de si mismo y se debilitara su habilidad para sentir [4].

            Existen diferentes tipos de trauma. En nuestra discusión hablaremos de tres: trauma agudo, crónico, y complejo. El trauma agudo proviene de un solo evento peligroso o tenso[5]. Por ejemplo, un accidente automovilístico, un desastre natural o un fuego. 

            Trauma crónico es el resultado de estar expuesto a tensión o una situación estresante por un tiempo extenso [6].  Puede ser una colección de eventos traumáticos[7].  Por ejemplo, la muerte de miembros de la familia consecutivamente, intimidación o acoso.

Trauma complejo comienza en la niñez y afecta el desarrollo infantil [8].  Este tipo de trauma envuelve daño o adversidades que son fuera de lo normal [9].  Las victimas internalizan, personifican, y se culpan del evento [10].  Los incidentes incluyen, agresión física y sexual, violación, violencia doméstica, abuso infantil, humillación, rechazo, abandono, abuso emocional y descuido [11].  El trauma complejo también incluye abuso crónico como tráfico humano y esclavitud sexual [12]. 

Cuando alguien comparte contigo que tiene trauma significa que vive con el trastorno de estrés postraumático (TEPT).  Los síntomas de este diagnostico incluyen reexperimentación de eventos traumáticos, recuerdos recurrentes, sueños y pesadillas, o reacciones que te hacen recordar[13].  Estas reacciones se hacen llamar desencadenantes.  La respuesta al dolor recibido por los eventos traumáticos hace que la persona viva en un estado de ansiedad, con cambios fisiológicos o hipervigilancia [14]. 

Cuando dicen tengo trauma, esta persona vive diariamente con la memoria de eventos peligrosos. Los desencadenantes ayudan al cuerpo, a la mente y a las emociones a revivir las experiencias trágicas del pasado.

Copyright 2025 @All Rights Reserved

---

[1] Courtois, Christine. It’s Not You, it’s what happened to you. Dublin: Telemachus Press LLC, 2020. 

[2] Courtois, It’s Not You, 5.

[3] Courtois, It’s Not You, 5.

[4] Courtois, It’s Not You, 5.

[5] «Trauma and PTSD.» E Care Behavioral Institute: Webinar Training, July 16, 2022. https://doi.org/https://www.ecarebehavioralinstitute.com/product/trauma-and-ptsd/.

[6] «Trauma and PTSD.» E Care Behavioral Institute: Webinar Training, July 16, 2022. https://doi.org/https://www.ecarebehavioralinstitute.com/product/trauma-and-ptsd/.

[7] «Trauma and PTSD.» E Care Behavioral Institute: Webinar Training, July 16, 2022. https://doi.org/https://www.ecarebehavioralinstitute.com/product/trauma-and-ptsd/

[8] «Trauma and PTSD.» E Care Behavioral Institute: Webinar Training, July 16, 2022. https://doi.org/https://www.ecarebehavioralinstitute.com/product/trauma-and-ptsd/.

[9] «Trauma and PTSD.» E Care Behavioral Institute: Webinar Training, July 16, 2022. https://doi.org/https://www.ecarebehavioralinstitute.com/product/trauma-and-ptsd/.

[10] Courtois, It’s Not You,6.

[11] Courtois, It’s Not You,5.

[12] Courtois, It’s Not You,5.

[13] Courtois, It’s Not You, 3.

[14] Courtois, It’s Not You, 3.

            Have you ever heard someone say; “I have trauma.”? What are they saying? What do they mean?  Doesn’t everyone go to a traumatic event at least once in their life? Why is it important that you understand they have trauma? 

            Let’s start by answering the question what is trauma.  Trauma is an event or experience that is physically or psychologically overwhelming, powerful, and intense.[1]  The event or experience is sudden and unexpected. [2] Basically, it will stand out from your normal life experiences, and be fixed in your mind for years to come.  Your response to the event will affect your ability to cope, give you a sense of helplessness, diminish your sense of self, or ability to feel. [3]

There are many types of trauma.  For our discussion, we will review three types. These are: acute, chronic, and complex trauma.  Acute trauma comes from a single stressful or dangerous event, which is usually short term.[4] For example; a car accident, natural disaster or house fire.

Chronic trauma is a result of prolonged exposure to highly stressful situations.[5] It could also be more than one traumatic event that compiles over time.[6]  Examples are; consecutive deaths of family members, bullying, or harassment.

Complex trauma begins early in life, and affects the child’s development.[7]  It can involve any type of adversity or harm, but is usually out of the ordinary. [8]  The victim blamed themselves, internalize, and personalize the trauma event.[9]  Overwhelming incidents include physical and sexual assault, rape, domestic violence, child abuse, rejection, humiliation, neglect, abandonment, and emotional abuse.[10] Complex trauma also includes chronic abuse such as human trafficking and sexual slavery. [11] 

When someone shares they have trauma, they live with PTSD.   A Post Traumatic Stress Disorder diagnosis includes flashbacks, dreams, nightmares, or reactions to reminders of the trauma.[12]  These reactions are called triggers.  They also response to the trauma pain by numbing or live in a constant state of anxiety, physiological arousal or hyper-vigilance.[13]

So, when someone says I have trauma, they live with daily memories of harmful events.  The triggers will aid the body, the mind, and the emotions to relieve these traumatic events.

Copyright 2025 All rights reserved

---

[1] Courtois, Christine. It’s Not You, it’s what happened to you. Dublin: Telemachus Press LLC, 2020. 

[2] Courtois, It’s Not You, 5.

[3]  «Trauma and PTSD.» E Care Behavioral Institute: Webinar Training, July 16, 2022. https://doi.org/https://www.ecarebehavioralinstitute.com/product/trauma-and-ptsd/.

[4] «Trauma and PTSD.» E Care Behavioral Institute: Webinar Training, July 16, 2022. https://doi.org/https://www.ecarebehavioralinstitute.com/product/trauma-and-ptsd/.

[5] Ibid.

[6] Ibid.

[7]. «Trauma and PTSD.» E Care Behavioral Institute: Webinar Training, July 16, 2022. https://doi.org/https://www.ecarebehavioralinstitute.com/product/trauma-and-ptsd/.

[8] Courtois, It’s Not You,5.

[9] Courtois, It’s Not You,6.

[10] Courtois, It’s Not You,5.

[11] Courtois, It’s Not You,5.

[12] Courtois, It’s Not You, 3.

[13] Ibid.

Every morning she awakens to her life.  She is a five-year-old getting ready for school but as she leaves her room, the wicked lecherous looks welcome her.  The wicked monitors her as she sits to eat her cereal, and stares as she leaves to get her books. 

The wicked takes her to school every morning. She sits quietly as the wicked lasciviously looks her way. The wicked mumbles words that are indecipherable at her age.  The stares make her restless and anxious. Her nervous system knows she is in danger, and if he touches her, she will dissociate.  The wicked lacks the ability to control impulses, and soon hurls after her.

The wicked boasts of his heart’s desire and sits proud that his ways are prospering; Psalm 10:3-5.  In his mind, he deserves a good life and there will be no judgement. If anyone comments on the wicked’ s behavior, he sneers and proudly says that his ways will not change; Psalm 10:5-6. The wicked walks with his head held high deceiving, cursing and oppressing; Psalm 10:6-7. 

The wicked lurks to ambush her daily because he knows she is helpless, and will fall under his strength; Psalm 10:8,10. In his heart he says, God will never see and if he does, he will forget what I do to the innocent; Psalm 10:11.

Every night, she kneels in the Lord’s presence. Even though she is incapable of expressing her anguish, she opens her heart and reveals her brokenness; Romans 8:26-27. She waits for the day when the fragments of her wretched life will be gathered. One thing she is certain of, the Lord has heard the desires of the humble: Psalm 10:17.

If you stare at her today, she is unable to discern whether it is curiosity or harm. Her nervous system will be warned by the amygdala, and it will take possession of her frontal lobe. She will lose her ability to think rationally and her instincts to run, freeze, or dissociate will take effect. 

When she emotionally regulates again, she always goes back to the comforting words of Psalm 10:14; “But you, God, see the trouble of the afflicted; you consider their grief and take it in hand. The victims commit themselves to you; you are the helper of the fatherless”. She soothes herself knowing that the evildoer will give an account for his wickedness, and that he will never again strike terror; Psalm 10:15; 18.

She sat at the table surrounded by the chatter and laughter of the brethren. The room looked lovely, with red poinsettias, Christmas ornaments and live music.  Everyone was in festive spirits and enjoying each other’s company.  She smiled widely, and spoke enthusiastically about the holidays, family, and friends. She shared her enjoyment of watching the praises during the service.  She was doing what was expected Romans 12:18, fitting in, and all the while she practiced opposite action. 

No one noticed the deep sadness, the wounded heart, the loneliness, the disillusion, nor the pain.  She lives afraid of exposing too much, so she chooses to practice emotional containment.  However, the struggle of the reality within, and the outward appearance leaves one exhausted.  Hence, the need for silence and isolation.

In solitude, she becomes busy making use of distracting skills. Writing in a journal, reading an interesting book, crocheting, and trying new recipes.  Nevertheless, the skills do not alleviate the pain, the sadness, the wounds, the loneliness and disillusion that resides in her heart.   As the need to soothe increases, so does her longing for him.

She chooses to pursue him not for his attributes, nor for what he can do for her. She just wants his company, and to sit quietly close to him.  It’s going to be a while before she allows herself to feel, and longer to expose her heart. He is familiar with this behavior. So, he chooses to wait patiently, and makes allowances for her faults; Ephesians 4:2.  For you see he loves her in inexplicable ways Romans 8:38-39. 

In her world lack of trust, fear of harm, and betrayal are monarchs.  She has difficulty understanding his world and his plans. However, her incomprehension does not seem to matter.  He just loves her and because he is faithful he continues to sit by her John 1:14. 

The time will come when she will unearth what lies in her heart. Because he is good, he will keep track of her sorrows, collect her tears in a bottle, and record each one in her book, Psalm 56:8.  In him she finds empathy, therefore she allows herself to be comforted Psalm 34:18.

@2024 All Rights Reserved

I have been sitting in her park bench for a while now. The park is just like I remembered. If you look across the street, you realized that St. Boniface is no longer there. It deteriorated at the beginning of the beginning of the 21^st century and there were not enough funds to repair the old building. Sadly, it was demolished.

She is sitting next to me looking at her feet as she plays with the glass. There are so many things I wish to say. However, she doesn’t understand much of what is happening nor why.  She thinks there is something wrong with her, and struggles with the agony of living.

I admire her. She moves slowly due to the pain in both her heart and body. Nevertheless, she is so determined to continue living.  She has survived nameless horrors and has been able to protect her inner self.  Her strength and endurance are both miracles.

As I sit, watching her I think of God’s timing. He has been listening to her prayers and has send her help.  He is defending her, and biding his time to bring about deliverance.  In her despair, she endures her slavery as accustomed.  If I were to tell her that she would soon be free: would she understand?

Freedom will come in a miraculous way. Her determination will bring about opportunities not imaged nor valued by others. The Lord will bring those who will love and support her. She will walk out of slavery like those who walked in between the Red Sea. None of her bones were broken; Psalm 34:19-20.

Has she ever thanked the Lord for the ability to dissociate?  She does not recollect every event, but he has been watching.  He has put down in writing everyone’s deeds.  On a certain day, his books will be opened.  Everything that was recorded will be revealed; Revelation 20:12. All she does not remember will be exposed.  Sadly, justice is not her source of joy.  She prays daily for mercy for those who never repented. For it is a dreadful thing to fall into the hands of the living God; Hebrews 10:31.

Copyright@ 2024

The Normal Days 

For the past few months she has been living the normal days. The normal days of brightness and clarity.  She has enjoyed times of laughter and fun. It had been years since she has been allowed to be herself.  The normal days have brought on confidence, courage and a sense of peace.  For the first time in her life, she viewed the puzzle of her life completed.  She faced the world without gaps, and was able to witness her complete story without shame.  

She prayed daily that his word would sustain her.  She acknowledge her need of him to continue functioning. After all, he is the healer of the wounded. The man of sorrows who carried her distress on the cross.  She touches his robe like the bleeding woman; Luke 8:43-48.  Daily she kneels and prays; “if I touch him, I would be healed”.   

However, she’s become aware that the normal days are coming to an end.   With tears rolling down her cheeks, she has come to terms with what has been pre-ordained.  All the symptoms of her illness are back.  That which she has been able to manage with leaned skills have reached their peak. There is no comfort for her broken heartedness.    

Instinctively, she began to practice the coping skills of her childhood.  If ask, she would be unable to speak about it.  Her outward appearance will not show her despair. She smiles wholeheartedly, laughs loudly and walks freely. No one is aware of the sorrow, grief and loss that entangles her.   

On her drives home, she acknowledges her reality.  The amnesia effects are gone now, and she is force to face her unbelievable truths.  The years of slavery, degradation and inhumane treatment of her as a child.  She lives with the consequences of interruptions in her natural childhood development.  The emotional dysregulation, the inability to pronounce words correctly, the increase amounts cortisol and adrenaline in her body.  There is no sympathy or relief for the agony caused by the humiliation and contempt of her humanity. She would never hear apologies nor would she see justice.   

All she had is him.  “The man of sorrows, acquainted with sin”; Isaiah 53:3.  He is the only one who understands the torment carried by her abuse.  She is trusting him as her illness becomes more noticeable.   

She went to the Lord many times to asked why.  Why was she repugnant to them? Why such resentment? Why was she rejected and despised?  Why do they all say that she was made wrong?  Was she so dishonorable and unworthy? Was she incapable of doing anything right?   Did any kind words exist to represent her?   

Daily, her heart aches when she heard the words used to tell of her.  What is a harlot? Why do they want her to describe herself a harlot?  Why was there joy in their hearts when they make her repeat their words?  The words used to express and define her are repulsive, distasteful and unpleasant.  Her feelings of disgust and rejection are confusing. However, at four years of age the only thing she knows for certain is that she was not loved, and no one in her vicinity could be trusted. 

They have beaten her more than once.  They have kept food, clothing and have asked her to sleep on the floor.  She was always paralyzed with fear when they tell her to go to the room.  The room is where they hurt her, and where she sees them. She never mentions it.  However, the darkness constantly floats below the ceilings.   They reside there. 

It hurts every morning when she sits for breakfast.  She lifts up her legs to find relief as she eats her oatmeal. A woman gazes and dismisses her. She cruelly says that it will go away eventually.  It’s what you have to go through.   

When she finishes breakfast, they drive her to school. She looks at herself in the car to makes sure her school uniform is tidy. After being drop off, she enters her Kindergarten class.   

She is described as extremely smart even though she is shy.  They don’t know that she makes herself forget. She intentionally developed amnesia toward the betrayal of those who were chosen to love her.  If asked, she would be unable to speak of it.  She lived bewildered and confused. 

However, her young heart breaks and grieves as she rides home.  Somewhere in her she knows; her dignity and humanity are being destroyed. However, those are adult words. The child in her sobs constantly, grieves in pain, and obeys when asked to do the unforgivable.   

@2024 All Rights Reserved 

Cuando yo era niña, me enseñaron a orar el padre nuestro; Mateo 6:9-13.  Cuando di mi vida a el Señor Jesucristo, se añadío un ingrediente más a mi oración.  Esto fue una relación personal e individual con mi Dios.  Al principio en mi caminar, yo oraba por peticiones a mi Dios en aquello que yo no podía resolver.  A medida que crecí, comenzé a compartir más de mi vida con él.  Yo traía mis peticiones y las posibles soluciones a las mismas.  El Señor tomaba mis peticiones y me otorgaba respuestas de manera totalmente diferente a como yo habia pensado.  Yo estaba agradecida y me regocijaba en las respuestas a mis oraciones, pero siempre me preguntaba porque Dios escogía no utilizar mis métodos.  Sin embargo, continuaba orando y proveyendo al Señor posibles soluciones.

 Hasta el día que comprendí Isaías 55:8-9; «Porque mis pensamientos no son vuestros pensamientos, ni vuestros caminos mis caminos».  En mis oraciones, yo confinaba al Señor y trataba de establecer limites a su poder.  El me estaba enseñando, que él no tenía limítes, ni en su grandeza, ni en su poder, ni en su gloria, ni en su bondad.  De ahí en adelante, decidí orar sin analizar posibles respuestas, simplemente confiando en él.  El Señor nunca defrauda y al proveer, me mostraba su amor, generosidad, supremacía y gran bondad, mientras que yo me quedaba maravillada y sin habla.  

 

Hoy en día, al orar espero con anticipación pues la manera como Dios conteste y cuando lo haga será tan maravilloso como él.  Mi Dios vive para sorprenderme y al ver su amor, su supremacía, y su generosidad en mi vida, yo me sonrío.