Horrors are defined as any damage or evil done to one person by another[1]. The reaction to the horror is the trauma that lingers. It lives within you. It integrates itself into your body, and nervous system. It resides in the midst of the brain, and does not allow neuron connections between the left and right. Behaviors such as high anxiety levels, speech problems and violation of social rules are adopted.
Trauma does not have boundaries. A smell, a noise, a place or a person may trigger you. The results are memories and flashbacks which sketch and define you. Then there’s the shame. The shame of having your body integrity, your physical boundaries, and your life violated. The knowledge of being unable to stop the horrors led to not trusting yourself or others. All of these failures inhabit your thinking.
And then, there is the pain. The chronic pain of having endured what was unnatural, and out of the ordinary. The awareness of the pleasure and joy expressed by those causing you harm. Needs were met, and desires fulfilled in the midst of your pain. People knew, watched, and sometimes participated. The feelings of being trapped and hopeless reigned.
An increased pattern in behaviors had developed where there is a certainty that the coming horrors were worse than the one you just lived through. There was no restraint or barrier in the perpetrator’s plans, just an escalation in his demands. Once these horrors were unleashed, they were maniacal.
Lastly, the emotional, mental and physical distress is overwhelming. The inability to participate in childhood activities, the impediment of normal childhood development and the lack of free will. Your life has been planned and determined by others. There would be no career, no marriage, no family and no children. You exist to satisfy the needs of others. Your life has been stolen. John 10:10 NIV; «The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy.»
Walking with Trauma 