Theologians say Psalm 118 was the psalm sung after the Lord’s Supper. Jesus and the disciples were now headed to the Garden of Gethsemane. She feels dread for him. Those whose lives have been in danger are familiar with the feelings. They understand when their sympathetic nervous system triggers the fight and flight response. There is a burst of energy let out by the amygdala that responds to the perceive danger. She wonders if he felt this. After all he is fully human like her. She thinks of the apprehension, the uneasiness and anxiety that comes about when your senses are aware of peril. The amount of stress leads to survival mode.
When she reads the psalm, she wonders. Is he reassuring himself? Is he managing his emotional dysregulation with phrases of truth? Certainties are quoted out loud. “When you are hard pressed, he brings you to a spacious place. He is the one that helps you not to be afraid because he is not only with you, he triumphs over your enemies” Psalm 118: 5-7.
She reminisces on the times when her life had been in jeopardy. She was too young to quote scripture even if she had learned any. However, there were certainties. She had been told that she would survive. Her deliverance would come. She could not say when, but she held on the hope. All she had to do is endure.
Looking back, this was on her mind and heart daily; “I will not die but live, and will proclaim what the Lord had done for me”; Psalm 118: 17.
…And guess what? She did.
Walking with Trauma 