Walking with Trauma

There she was…watching the past. If someone had mentioned this a year ago her answer would have been a definite and vociferous, NO.  She had established a plan, found allies who helped her pray for wisdom, and made firm decisions. The shield of the Lord was upon her, and all she needed was to stand firm. 

The mix up was about the meaning of love. According to 1 Corinthians 13:4-8; love is a commitment to behaviors that demonstrate what’s in the heart. When one loves, one is patient, kind, not proud nor self-seeking. One does not become angry easily, nor keep a record of someone else’s faults. In the relationship with the one loved, one rejoices in the truth, and does not delight in any evil that might harm the one loved. Love protects, trusts, hopes and always perseveres. It faces life’s difficulties with you, provides encouragement, supports, and prays when the loved one is in trouble. Love revealed itself in actions.

There she stood facing emotional love. A love based on feel good feelings released by the brain chemicals like dopamine, oxytocin, adrenaline and euphoric hormones.   Focus on getting attention and praise, where one’s privacy and boundaries did not matter. Where one acted like a victim and blamed others for their failures.  She could have chosen to follow the same path; played the same game. However, she was determined not to. She stood firm, convinced that she already knew real and perfect love. He had loved her when no one else had; 1 John 4:19.  She was so grateful to him that she refused to compromise. 

 She walked away sadly knowing defeat, for there would be no repentance. So much time had passed with no reflection, nor discernment.  As tears flowed, and her heart broke in sadness, she stood firm. Knowing that the only reason she was still standing was because he was her pillar, her strength and support; Joshua 1:9.  She turned and smiled at him whispering, “Thank you.”

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