Walking with Trauma

Every morning she awakens to her life.  She is a five-year-old getting ready for school but as she leaves her room, the wicked lecherous looks welcome her.  The wicked monitors her as she sits to eat her cereal, and stares as she leaves to get her books. 

The wicked takes her to school every morning. She sits quietly as the wicked lasciviously looks her way. The wicked mumbles words that are indecipherable at her age.  The stares make her restless and anxious. Her nervous system knows she is in danger, and if he touches her, she will dissociate.  The wicked lacks the ability to control impulses, and soon hurls after her.

The wicked boasts of his heart’s desire and sits proud that his ways are prospering; Psalm 10:3-5.  In his mind, he deserves a good life and there will be no judgement. If anyone comments on the wicked’ s behavior, he sneers and proudly says that his ways will not change; Psalm 10:5-6. The wicked walks with his head held high deceiving, cursing and oppressing; Psalm 10:6-7. 

The wicked lurks to ambush her daily because he knows she is helpless, and will fall under his strength; Psalm 10:8,10. In his heart he says, God will never see and if he does, he will forget what I do to the innocent; Psalm 10:11.

Every night, she kneels in the Lord’s presence. Even though she is incapable of expressing her anguish, she opens her heart and reveals her brokenness; Romans 8:26-27. She waits for the day when the fragments of her wretched life will be gathered. One thing she is certain of, the Lord has heard the desires of the humble: Psalm 10:17.

If you stare at her today, she is unable to discern whether it is curiosity or harm. Her nervous system will be warned by the amygdala, and it will take possession of her frontal lobe. She will lose her ability to think rationally and her instincts to run, freeze, or dissociate will take effect. 

When she emotionally regulates again, she always goes back to the comforting words of Psalm 10:14; “But you, God, see the trouble of the afflicted; you consider their grief and take it in hand. The victims commit themselves to you; you are the helper of the fatherless”. She soothes herself knowing that the evildoer will give an account for his wickedness, and that he will never again strike terror; Psalm 10:15; 18.