Walking with Trauma

I have been sitting in her park bench for a while now. The park is just like I remembered. If you look across the street, you realized that St. Boniface is no longer there. It deteriorated at the beginning of the beginning of the 21^st century and there were not enough funds to repair the old building. Sadly, it was demolished.

She is sitting next to me looking at her feet as she plays with the glass. There are so many things I wish to say. However, she doesn’t understand much of what is happening nor why.  She thinks there is something wrong with her, and struggles with the agony of living.

I admire her. She moves slowly due to the pain in both her heart and body. Nevertheless, she is so determined to continue living.  She has survived nameless horrors and has been able to protect her inner self.  Her strength and endurance are both miracles.

As I sit, watching her I think of God’s timing. He has been listening to her prayers and has send her help.  He is defending her, and biding his time to bring about deliverance.  In her despair, she endures her slavery as accustomed.  If I were to tell her that she would soon be free: would she understand?

Freedom will come in a miraculous way. Her determination will bring about opportunities not imaged nor valued by others. The Lord will bring those who will love and support her. She will walk out of slavery like those who walked in between the Red Sea. None of her bones were broken; Psalm 34:19-20.

Has she ever thanked the Lord for the ability to dissociate?  She does not recollect every event, but he has been watching.  He has put down in writing everyone’s deeds.  On a certain day, his books will be opened.  Everything that was recorded will be revealed; Revelation 20:12. All she does not remember will be exposed.  Sadly, justice is not her source of joy.  She prays daily for mercy for those who never repented. For it is a dreadful thing to fall into the hands of the living God; Hebrews 10:31.

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